Adult children often find themselves shocked and amazed when they hear that their long-married parents are getting a divorce. Often, adult children of long-standing marriages use their parents as examples of the couples who have succeeded at marriage, only to hear eventually that their happily married parents are getting divorced. The divorce rate of these couples has nearly doubled between 1990 and 2008 has nearly doubled and across the country, including many here in Arizona.
In a divorce where there are young children involved, much is done to ensure the children cope with the divorce. However, when the only children involved are adults, little thought may be given to their reaction to the divorce. Another facet of being an adult child whose parents are divorcing is the fact that issues usually kept away from younger children are often discussed with the adult child. Sometimes, the adult children have to hear about a new relationship in detail.
As an adult child, it is important to respect the parents’ decision to divorce. It is also important not to over-think the situation. Do not have all the good childhood memories spoiled by wondering if the parents only stayed married because they had children in the house. It is also important to decide boundaries and when offered information may be too intimate and personal to deal with.
It is typically important to realize that it is not necessary to pick sides, play therapist, divorce counselor or any of the other roles that are usually part of a divorce proceeding. Adult children of older parents splitting-up in Arizona have the ability to set their own borders and to advise their parents to seek legal or therapeutic advice when appropriate. In some circumstances, it may be possible to help the parents keep the lines of communication between them open in the hope of reaching a settlement that is fair and protects the interest of the entire family.
Contact Our Family Law Attorney Mesa AZ
If you have been in a long-standing marriage and wish to divorce, our attorneys can help. Call the Law Offices of Janice M. Palmer, P.C. at (480) 820-4771 or toll-free at (888) 352-7725 for a consultation.
Source: Chicago Tribune, Gray divorce and its effect on adult children, Emily Harris, March 18, 2014